Punched in the crotch? What the actual fuck? Good Lord, Val. That is deranged. I am so sorry. And E. Jean has been astoundingly brave. You might have seen that my cohost and I suggested from the astrology of the moment, her likelihood of winning is high. If she does, we all do. (I still am reeling thinking of the randomness of that attack on you. How do you know he was a business man?)
P. S. I also meant to write re sexual harassment, yes, unfortunately, I daresay we've all experienced it. I, too, have been punched (though not in the crotch, shudder) and shoved, hard, deliberately, by strangers on the street. There are a lot of angry men out there, a lot of angry, misogynistic men. I guess I should count myself lucky that I haven't been shot (though in this country that's always a possibility -- my god, the insanity we live with).
I thought your essay connecting the dots here was quite well done and nicely provocative, getting us to think about matters both serious and lighthearted in a novel way. Brava!
A punch in the crotch - I'd say unbelievable, but sadly, it's all too believable. E. Jean's story is a punch in the crotch to every woman and her bravery in telling it is a well-manicured fist in the air. Go, E.Jean. And go you - the way you segue from the miasma of her rape to the melasma that plagues some of us is masterful. I don't even HAVE melasma and I was interested!
I remember sitting on the sofa in my living room in Rome (so not that long ago) listening to NPR. It was probably the same journalist & slowly realizing that it hadn’t happened to just me. It wasn’t that I was too young, American, blonde ...(the things I was told the few times I dared push back or ask for help from someone) It actually happened to all of us.
Val, I love you, but I don't love calling melasma "a skin condition that feels like harassment" in a post that covers a woman's rape trial!! Presenting a normal, non-threatening bodily reaction as a problem on par with a life-altering act of violence (even in jest) reinforces beauty culture *and* rape culture. There's a reason so many women can quickly point out every so-called flaw on their face, but are slow to recall instances of harassment like the ones on your list. We've normalized the wrong thing!!
Magical beauty creams, miasma, melasma, the pain and trauma of sexual harassment, all in one thought-provoking post. So much to process! So sorry to hear of the awful incidents you endured, dear Val, and so generous of you to share.
Speaking of magical beauty products and invisible sexual harassment, many years ago when I was a budding beauty editor, I had an appointment to meet with a businessman who was head of a prestigious French beauty company.
He would be introducing me to a few of their body care products, including a tonic for “toning and firming the bust.” I had been forewarned by the PR person that in the course of the presentation that he might ask me if my breasts were shaped like apples, pears, grapefruit or melons, and that I shouldn’t be offended. The answer, she explained, would determine how I would use the product. WTF?
I was too naïve to cancel the appointment, thought that my discomfort was more about not feeling the same freedom about the body that the French reputedly had (I watched too many movies) and I honestly forget how I handled the moment when he did indeed pose that question.
At the time I thought my discomfort was about my lack of sophistication. Now I know his line of questioning was an act of sexual harassment, no matter what the original intention was.
Yes we’ve all been harassed at some point. I personally feel harassed when people, particularly men, make derogatory or sexually charged comments about other women’s appearance or behavior in my presence or when they consume content (YouTube videos in this case) that harass women under the veil of a comedy act, etc.
Melasma DOES feel like a defilement. I have olive skin. Only thing that has worked is kojic acid masques like Cosmelan and Miami Peel without making it worse. My Latina aesthetician made me promise not to let a blond touch my skin again after. CLEAR AND BRILLIANT left me looking like a leper. If you aren't super white, many treatments make melasma WORSE. You have been warned.
Melasma sucks. And it’s so insidious! Just when you think you’ve seen the end of it, it comes creeping back. What I wish my dermatologist had told me when I started treating it was that you can have a really strong reaction to the high dose hydroquinone - peeling skin and redness are common, but I got headaches as well. So I had to build up my tolerance. The melasma was clear for a few years, but I had one careless summer and now it’s back...
In my vision, to treat Melasma means the same as to counterbalance. These cells can't be overstimulated, but yet at the same time, they can't be underestimated either. In the end, the melanocytes are only trying to do their best. And, they are so important to our skin's health! There is no absolute magic, but a good dose of patience can achieve small miracles when it comes to results. xo
Thank you for the paean to E. Jean Carroll and her court case, which is, as you point out, sadly relatable for so many. I hope her victory on two counts will bring her some form of satisfaction. What she has done is truly admirable, and no small thing.
Well, this did not end up how I expected; however, I appreciate your use of melasma as a metaphor for sexual harassment. Knowing who you are (as much as one can know another in this context!), you don't seem to be the type of person who would minimize but rather attempt to amplify how something as awful as sexual harassment is so prevalent.
You Say "Miasma," I Say Melasma
That Moonlight Flowers blurb is hilarious. Amazing that some people fall for this stuff, but fall they do.
And as ever, Val, your writing is the bomb!
Punched in the crotch? What the actual fuck? Good Lord, Val. That is deranged. I am so sorry. And E. Jean has been astoundingly brave. You might have seen that my cohost and I suggested from the astrology of the moment, her likelihood of winning is high. If she does, we all do. (I still am reeling thinking of the randomness of that attack on you. How do you know he was a business man?)
P. S. I also meant to write re sexual harassment, yes, unfortunately, I daresay we've all experienced it. I, too, have been punched (though not in the crotch, shudder) and shoved, hard, deliberately, by strangers on the street. There are a lot of angry men out there, a lot of angry, misogynistic men. I guess I should count myself lucky that I haven't been shot (though in this country that's always a possibility -- my god, the insanity we live with).
I thought your essay connecting the dots here was quite well done and nicely provocative, getting us to think about matters both serious and lighthearted in a novel way. Brava!
A punch in the crotch - I'd say unbelievable, but sadly, it's all too believable. E. Jean's story is a punch in the crotch to every woman and her bravery in telling it is a well-manicured fist in the air. Go, E.Jean. And go you - the way you segue from the miasma of her rape to the melasma that plagues some of us is masterful. I don't even HAVE melasma and I was interested!
I remember sitting on the sofa in my living room in Rome (so not that long ago) listening to NPR. It was probably the same journalist & slowly realizing that it hadn’t happened to just me. It wasn’t that I was too young, American, blonde ...(the things I was told the few times I dared push back or ask for help from someone) It actually happened to all of us.
Val, I love you, but I don't love calling melasma "a skin condition that feels like harassment" in a post that covers a woman's rape trial!! Presenting a normal, non-threatening bodily reaction as a problem on par with a life-altering act of violence (even in jest) reinforces beauty culture *and* rape culture. There's a reason so many women can quickly point out every so-called flaw on their face, but are slow to recall instances of harassment like the ones on your list. We've normalized the wrong thing!!
Magical beauty creams, miasma, melasma, the pain and trauma of sexual harassment, all in one thought-provoking post. So much to process! So sorry to hear of the awful incidents you endured, dear Val, and so generous of you to share.
Speaking of magical beauty products and invisible sexual harassment, many years ago when I was a budding beauty editor, I had an appointment to meet with a businessman who was head of a prestigious French beauty company.
He would be introducing me to a few of their body care products, including a tonic for “toning and firming the bust.” I had been forewarned by the PR person that in the course of the presentation that he might ask me if my breasts were shaped like apples, pears, grapefruit or melons, and that I shouldn’t be offended. The answer, she explained, would determine how I would use the product. WTF?
I was too naïve to cancel the appointment, thought that my discomfort was more about not feeling the same freedom about the body that the French reputedly had (I watched too many movies) and I honestly forget how I handled the moment when he did indeed pose that question.
At the time I thought my discomfort was about my lack of sophistication. Now I know his line of questioning was an act of sexual harassment, no matter what the original intention was.
Yes we’ve all been harassed at some point. I personally feel harassed when people, particularly men, make derogatory or sexually charged comments about other women’s appearance or behavior in my presence or when they consume content (YouTube videos in this case) that harass women under the veil of a comedy act, etc.
Melasma DOES feel like a defilement. I have olive skin. Only thing that has worked is kojic acid masques like Cosmelan and Miami Peel without making it worse. My Latina aesthetician made me promise not to let a blond touch my skin again after. CLEAR AND BRILLIANT left me looking like a leper. If you aren't super white, many treatments make melasma WORSE. You have been warned.
E. JEAN FOR PRESIDENT
Melasma sucks. And it’s so insidious! Just when you think you’ve seen the end of it, it comes creeping back. What I wish my dermatologist had told me when I started treating it was that you can have a really strong reaction to the high dose hydroquinone - peeling skin and redness are common, but I got headaches as well. So I had to build up my tolerance. The melasma was clear for a few years, but I had one careless summer and now it’s back...
--Val,
In my vision, to treat Melasma means the same as to counterbalance. These cells can't be overstimulated, but yet at the same time, they can't be underestimated either. In the end, the melanocytes are only trying to do their best. And, they are so important to our skin's health! There is no absolute magic, but a good dose of patience can achieve small miracles when it comes to results. xo
Thank you for the paean to E. Jean Carroll and her court case, which is, as you point out, sadly relatable for so many. I hope her victory on two counts will bring her some form of satisfaction. What she has done is truly admirable, and no small thing.
All power to E. Jean!!! And thank you for the "Garden of the Hesperides" comment-- I laughed out loud.
Well, this did not end up how I expected; however, I appreciate your use of melasma as a metaphor for sexual harassment. Knowing who you are (as much as one can know another in this context!), you don't seem to be the type of person who would minimize but rather attempt to amplify how something as awful as sexual harassment is so prevalent.
The only thing that ever worked for my melasma was Cosmelan peel but it worked like a miracle
(I mean, a miracle where my was face really red for ages afterwards, but still)