from a gifted new friend
Thanks so much for having me and for that very kind intro!! <3
I stopped having my hair colored to hide the grey during the pandemic. At 57, I’m coming to terms with looking my actual age — the hair isn’t as much a giveaway as my jawline, at this stage of life anyway. I can’t say I love the grey but I am accepting it. I believe it’s a healthier choice to go dye free, and I save money and time in the salon too. Everyone who has commented on my hair has been positive, so I guess anyone who doesn’t like it is staying politely quiet with their opinion. I have zero judgment about anyone else’s decisions to hide the grey or not!
I love the gentle and compassionate way in which she approaches such a delicate topic. I too turned Grey very soon and bloomed late in other areas. I've always felt this discrepancy between the color of my hair and who I am. But how much is personal choice? Meeting ourselves where we are is a good compromise.❤️ How stressful that every decision a woman makes is loaded with meaning!
Went "cold turkey" into WHITE at 62 because hair salons in CA were closed for so long and get many more compliments on my hair than ever before. My mom colored her hair until she was 90 and our family name actually means "the gray ones" in Gaelic so I knew it was coming. I look at the richness of naturally pigmented hair and sigh sometimes but it is a relief to be free of the cost, time and potential health issues. Also to be able to travel without worry about roots showing is liberating indeed. The most compliments come from men and women in their twenties who are actually dying their hair white! That is a twist for sure.
Adorable, I love this. I just turned 53 and had been coloring my hair (every color of the rainbow, for real) since I was 16. When I turned 49, it was just too much to keep up with fast growing roots, and my hubby said "let the grey come in, you will look so hot!" Guess, what, he was right! I get stopped on the street DAILY by people of all ages telling me how beautiful my salt and pepper hair is. Best decision I have ever made. I should have done this years ago! I have hair past my shoulders that is white in some parts, grey and dark brown. It looks fabulous, easy to maintain, and super healthy. If you are on the fence, my advice is GO for it! Grey and silver hair is a strength not a weakness!
Love! I haven't even thought about what I will do when my hair inevitably starts going grey. But I love seeing other women embrace their greys. I wonder if it'll be one of those "it's great and amazing when others do it but I don't think I can yet". Hopefully, ill save myself time and money and just leave it be 😂
Fantastic guest appearance. And genius to think of having a guest. To dye or not to dye, that is the question, and Aubrey gave a beautiful, touching, funny answer.
PS: None of my bidniss, but Rudy Giuliani should not dye his hair anymore.
I’m (very) soon-to-be 64, and added highlights to my brunette hair during the pandemic as a way to ease into accepting the gray. Surprisingly, there’s less gray than anticipated, and while the gray is definitely becoming more prominent now, it’s a fairly gradual transition. The time and cost savings are a major bonus too!
Love this column. I regret not going gray earlier...but then I waited until I was 70. I just couldn't do it. My mom colored her hair until 97 and was so lovely and vital I think I secretly thought I needed my brown hair to be alive! Turns out it's not true. Aubrey your dark hair is lovely... enjoy it as long as you like!
I grew out my gray completely during the pandemic. And guess what? It wasn't gray--it was actually white (in many areas). Friends told me it looked fantastic, and i loved not having to constantly think about the roots (I'd been coloring it dark, as that is my natural color before going gray/white). But then, I noticed something. Others were treating me differently. I realized I'd become completely invisible. Younger people patronized me (apologizing for swearing in front of me, for instance). I was smiled at in a way that said, oh isn't she a sweet old lady. Finally, i decided to try a bit of color and had a few lowlights put in. Immediately, I appeared to the world again! (All in my head? Maybe...) Out to dinner recently, a man said, I don't know what you did, but your hair looks fantastic! Etc. No one treats me like an elderly person anymore. Oh, dear. Now I have roots to deal with again--though they aren't as obvious as before. I'm not happy either way--with white hair, with lowlights. I know this is all about acceptance.... But it's hard.
I started going grey a little later, after 40, and when it came in I thought, well this seems appropriate. I might have made a completely different choice if I’d started going grey younger! I also knew I was way, way too busy, with three kids and a demanding career, to stay on top of root maintenance. I felt like I’d rather look old and brave (grey), than old and sloppy (visible roots), which were my only realistic options. And you know what? I get tons of compliments on my hair. I later wound up back on the dating scene, and the grey hair didn’t hold me back *at all* - including with younger men. I definitely don’t judge others’ choices: mine were really personal, and everyone’s are.
Thank you for sharing, I love this so much! I'm 52 years old, but people say I look much younger. I also happen to be a cancer survivor and when my hair started growing back in after chemo, I was so tempted to let it stay natural to avoid the chemicals. My daughter, who is a hair stylist, talked me out of it because I have "such a young face." This illustration has sparked me to revisit this decision.
This reflects my own experience so much! (Down to my stylist telling me not to go gray because of my “young face,” although coloring this gray head also brings her a ton of $$$) But I’m also not “there” yet, and appreciate the compassionate way this was addressed.
Love! And brava for following your heart, Aubrey. While I have very little grey at 54, I can so relate to the notion of being a “late bloomer” -- I just dedicated my last newsletter to the topic!
Aubrey, you are awesome! Were it not for lockdown, I don't think I would've let my grays run free. Cultural vanity and all of that. I don't have much in the front, the sides or underneath right now, just a cascade from my crown. When I saw my hairstylist for a trim a couple of weeks ago (who's in her early 30s) she said, "We are *never* coloring this," which made me laugh (she specializes in color). Part of me agrees. I love not giving up 2 hours every 3 weeks. I love not spending the money. I love not putting those chemicals on my skin and feeling the burn because I am allergic to hair color and even the special kind we used was still irritating and what kind of sadist does that?! LOL. But part of me wonders if I should do something to it. Highlights to blend it all together? But that's just leftover stuff from always being told (by society/media) that what we have is never good enough and we should always try to be "better". FTS. xo