50 Comments
Jul 13, 2022Liked by Valerie Monroe

I feel younger than my 55 years and I attribute it to smiling with my eyes. My late great aunt Gladys, who passed at 105, had a sparkle in her eyes up to 6 month before she passed. She had a mouth that was always partially upturned and ready to smile, and that with the sparkle in her eyes, allowed her to smile and laugh at a moment's notice. Her vitality made such an impression on me, and every day I strive to find purpose, relevancy, and positive energy in the life I've been given.

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Jul 12, 2022Liked by Valerie Monroe

I feel younger than my 78 years. I think it is because I spent my career teaching little children and now live next door to my teen aged grandsons. They do fun things and often include me .

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Your spirit shines through this story. Thank you for sharing your experience--what can a writer do, but write? I'm sure you'll be washing your face in one-hand wheel pose ASAP.

As for age, I was born thirty-five. Now that I'm two years past that, I'm beginning to live. I feel the key to staying nubile (wonderful word) is to do new/ scary/ humbling things all the time so we can stay in beginner's mind.... vulnerable and courageous. For me, that was taking up tennis a couple of years ago. It was pure humiliation to begin with, but now I feel empowered and amazed by what my body and brain are capable of learning.

I once had a psychologist tell me: "Better to do something that scares you than to stay at home having an existential crisis." I think about that often when I panic about getting older or watching my kids grow too big too fast. If I keep scaring myself with new things, I seem to stay flexible and resilient. Maybe not physically nubile,but psychically so.

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Jul 12, 2022Liked by Valerie Monroe

Hmmmm. I'd say how I think about my age depends on the day?

Some of it is my life experience and social group--I didn't start my post-PhD career until I was in my early 30s and didn't have my son until I was 36, which is the same thing tons of my friends did. We're all in our late 30s/early 40s with young children and careers that are only just about a decade old, which often makes me feel younger than I am. (Until I compare myself to other 40 year olds who started working right out of undergrad, and then I feel both old and behind. But mostly I feel about 35 and I hope I stick there for as long as I can!)

I also think some of it is genetics. I take very closely after my paternal grandmother, who looked and acted about 20 years younger than she was until she died at 93--and we all credit that approach (plus the fact that she had a great community) with her living alone and in excellent health until she was 90.

Her life was full of great stories--she lied on her resume to get a full-time job post-widowhood, and then surprised everyone when she retired 10 years later instead of 20. For most of her retirement, she volunteered with a charity that hooked up seniors with neighbours for rides to errands and appointments, and her "old ladies" were all younger than she was. We had long conversations about life, and she said more than once that she never really felt more than 18 in her mind.

I'm hoping I also get to be active and involved until I'm 90!

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Feb 7, 2023Liked by Valerie Monroe

Oof, I had surgery for a herniated disc over 20 years ago and though it went well, about 10 years ago I began experience achiness though not pain. I agree that chronic pain ages us - how could it not?

So, yes, most of the time I feel younger than my soon-to-be 60 year old self. Last week I was walking through the library parking lot and an older woman asked me if I needed help with the box of books I had (which I was bringing to a van to donate). I said I was fine and liked being able to work out my arms then she said something about "when you get to my age..." and I replied, "well, I'm going to be 60 next month" and she stopped and said how that couldn't be possible and that she was 79 years old. I've also a younger colleague (tender age of 22) who told me that I looked 15 years younger.

Though I appreciated hearing such kind words (or I'm guessing that they were), it's the moments of forgetting a left a light on or not being able to walk due to my bent over back pain that reminds me that, yup, I'm older. However, most recently (like in last night!) I decided to get back to doing more movement so I logged onto Jessica Smith walking videos on Youtube and worked up a slight sheen after 30 minutes. I definitely felt better regardless if it was going to make me look younger or not.

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Aug 7, 2022Liked by Valerie Monroe

Understood. :)

Glad to have found your writings. You were mentioned in a NYT article.

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Aug 6, 2022Liked by Valerie Monroe

Hello!

Your story of your experience of the Japanese hospital system is fascinating.

May I ask: How does an American go about seeking care in Japan?

Thank you!

Caroline

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Oh, my! I really have to keep up with your posts or I really do fall behind. Well, we did say it would be a dramatic summer, if I remember correctly. I am so glad it worked out well for you and hope that you will continue to convalesce with ease, and plenty of fresh cotton pads for your face. As for the murder, the ones who scream about democracy over here, sadly, I fear, have no idea who Abe was. They probably think it was the guy who messed up the Confederacy.

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Grrrrrrl, you know how to begin an essay better than anybody!!!!

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Jul 13, 2022Liked by Valerie Monroe

I turned 50 a few days ago. Mentally l feel much younger but physically (thanks to chronic illness) l feel very old some days.

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oh my heavens! Back surgery??? Feels like that escalated quickly. And - SO GLAD that you had such a wonderful experience with the hospital, surgery, interpreter and more. Would send you heart emojis if I were on my phone

I definitely feel 56 but I don't think I look 56. Others have said I don't look 56. But then in February, when in Sicily, our realtor told me, "Oh, I figured you were about 10 years older than me" and how old is she? 46. That stung.

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Jul 12, 2022Liked by Valerie Monroe

So glad that you are on the road to recovery, Val! ❤️‍🩹

What an ordeal, but you got through it with your usual grace and good humor, not to mention your positive outlook and an impressive hospital/wellness system. Now that you’re up and about again, you must feel younger than ever!

On most days I feel younger than my 71 years. At least psychically. It’s more about a lightness of spirit and sense of optimism than feeling like a particular age. Being more of a “glass half full”’ rather than “glass half empty” person helps too. Sometimes that glass is downright overflowing!

Then, of course, the inevitable wear and tear on my body reminds me that “I ain’t what I used to be.” But I don’t completely resign myself to it. I do what I can to get stronger and healthier; taking charge of your health and well-being also helps you feel younger than your age.

Being open to new experiences also brings on the sense of new beginnings that I equate with feeling young. I want to go into my dotage like one of the tots that Frank Sinatra sings so joyfully about in “You Make Me Feel So Young,” who goes “running through the meadow, picking up lots of forget-me-nots.” 😌 💐

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Jul 12, 2022Liked by Valerie Monroe

Glad you are feeling better!! So sorry that you had to go through that! Be safe and well. :)

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Glad you're out of the hospital and (I hope) recovering fully. Thank you again for these missives which I love!

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Jul 12, 2022Liked by Valerie Monroe

So happy surgery went well and you are recovering. Sorry you had to go through with it. So many improvements could be made to our healthcare system here. We should take the best from many other countries and incorporate what works.

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Jul 12, 2022Liked by Valerie Monroe

You write beautifully even post surgery. So sorry you had to go through all this but hope you’re well on your way to recovery.

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