20 Comments

Ah yes, gradual senescence. In my case, at least, I had no choice. It just happened, nothing I could do about it, but at least as a male I didn't have beauty issues. But everyone facing old age has memory issues, and in the male case balding issues, and there are others, and Val as always is correct, it's part of being human, live long enough and you're not going to escape them, and acceptance is the wisest course. As the Beatles said, let it be. You can get used to almost anything if you don't panic.

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Val! I had never heard of "good enough" parenting, although it's totally brilliant and such a wonderful comparison to aging. Because it sort of happens naturally anyway. At first we have a huge bandwidth to respond to every peep and cry, and eventually--not even deliberately--we just get too tired to do it. We let them cry in their crib a few minutes longer if it means finishing a hot shower/ a cup of coffee, etc. We teach self-soothing by revealing, little by little, our own needs and limitations. I can see how aging might follow the same path. There have been times when I've furiously researched every tool available, booked every consult, tried every sample, and then I realize... whelp, I just don't have the bandwidth. So I learn to self-sooth, looking compassionately at my droopy eye-lid. Your mirror trick is a big part of that for me. Thank you 🧡

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Jan 19, 2023Liked by Valerie Monroe

There really are 1000 ways to die while trying not to age—much. Thanks for the reminder on “good enough” and for the scary truth on lash dying. I already know who I must warn about this. Happy new year, too! Keep it coming!

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May I add something to my comment?? Think of it this way. Some of the most beautiful women in history, in society, or even in the ordinary world, have been women who have aged well, and added as they aged a great dignity of bearing, of stateliness, of style, and it's something always that they have learned, living life to the fullest.

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Jan 17, 2023Liked by Valerie Monroe

Thanks for more good advice, Val! I've been using Nulastin since Sept '22 and though it seemed to take a little while to get going, I'm thrilled. I'm in my mid 60s and my lashes and brows had become puny, but now are pretty much back to normal and lashes are super powered. They're sturdy. Most hairs for both came in my youthful non-gray color, but I still dye my brows for a fuller effect. It's not a one and done solution, so you have to keep going to keep what you grow, so I'll keep doing it for the foreseeable future. BTW, I tried a recommended special brow dye kit (vs my own hair color) and nearly had to resort to chiselling it off. Nothing about the product worked as directed. Going back to hair dye, which worked well for years.

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Jan 18, 2023Liked by Valerie Monroe

Val! Many thanks for listing side effects. FYI& others here’s this.....latonoplast a fairly “new” eye drop medication for glaucoma that “also lengthens & promotes eyelash growth” gave me all of the icky side effects. Wow! Will be in touch with my ophthalmologist asap. Kept telling him something was up with this med.

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Jan 17, 2023Liked by Valerie Monroe

Informative post, as always, with great intel from HW. But I’m wondering…if FDA does not approve color dyes for tinting eyelashes, what about dyes for tinting eyebrows? I’m assuming that since eyebrows are further away from eyes and eyelids than eyelash dyes (and since there are OTC eyebrow dyeing kits available) that dyes for brows pose less of a risk.

My own eyelashes ain’t what they used to be (although, thankfully, still dark). In the spirit of “good enough aging,” I stick to mascara (thinking of giving your favorite brand a whirl). And when I want to amp up the results, a bit of dark brown pencil liner smudged into the lash line does the trick.

Also want to thank you for CeraVe remover recommendation. Trusted brand! And price of product is easier on the wallet than my current beloved eye makeup remover.

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deletedJan 17, 2023Liked by Valerie Monroe
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