Super Scars! And Lesser Ones

plus, grampy's hat: a love story

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I’m on my way home from our annual family vacation in O’ahu and feeling the usual: I have an emptier suitcase (books for granddaughter, M, hand delivered) but a fuller heart. On this trip I noticed M’s favorite request—Tell me a story—now includes far more interaction, as she frequently interrupts to either embellish or correct me. It’s a delicious adventure as I follow her into a maze of sharp narrative turns, loop-de-loops, and promises of mysteries eventually resolved. (“I will reveal the answer at the end,” she often intones when I ask her second favorite question: Then what happened?)

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One story I told was, as she carefully noted, personal narrative rather than fiction. Meaning, it happened to me. Actually, it happened to Grammie’s vacation companion, Grampy.

While observing the antics of the local prisoners dolphins performing hourly at our hotel, Grampy’s new Panama hat blew off in a powerful gust and landed in the dolphins’ watery locale. That old tatty football they were playing with? A lousy piece of detritus compared to the new squish-toy fortuitously donated by an un-careful guest. The hat was tossed in the air, retrieved, carried, a mouthful, to the bottom of the sea, and resurfaced to be playfully dragged around till it had collected quite an audience of dolphin-lovers.

“Oh, look!” cried one. “The dolphins have a new toy!”

“It’s Grampy’s hat,” I said, dolefully.

“How cute!” she said, turning to her friends. “It’s called Grampy’s Hat!”

“No,” I said to the group. “It is Grampy’s hat.”

Grampy’s hat was recovered finally by one of the dolphins’ handlers—requiring only a simple gesture in dolphin language and a hook—and returned. After about a day in the sun, it had dried and resumed a fairly hat-like shape—though having shrunk, it sat a bit higher on Grampy’s head. M was delighted with its new size. “It fits me now, Grampy!” she said, but Grampy had no intention of giving it up. He wore it proudly: A tough old guy sporting his tough new hat.

Speaking of tough, a reader asks about the best way to minimize a post-surgery scar.

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