Red or White?

helping a reader with a hair-dentity crisis

Welcome readers, old and new!

Please hit the ❤️ above to learn about an ancient reason why you might feel shame about your naked body. Speaking of naked bodies, did you know researchers think Neandertals might’ve worn shoes? Can’t you just picture a fine Neandertal Lady wearing nothing but a kitten heel, gooseberry charms at the toe?

A couple of weeks ago I had my third yearly photodynamic therapy treatment to diminish or eradicate any precancerous lesions on my face.

My dermatologist called the results “robust.” Actually, “beautiful,” is what she said when she saw me—beet-red, peeling, scabby—on a Zoom a few days later. My skin has calmed down since, but today I had my semi-annual Daxxify (neurotoxin) injections, plus a couple of drops of filler around my chin. Though I don’t look as chewed up as I did from the photodynamic therapy, I’m now slightly bruised. The minor disruptions these treatments cause put me off anything more invasive.

I don’t typically do filler but after a prolonged discussion with my kind and patient doctor, I decided to see what a few drops might do around my mouth. Very little, it turns out, which is exactly what the doctor promised. I wonder why I was vulnerable to considering something I rarely think about. I’m inclined to believe it has to do with low-grade anxiety.

Being worried makes me want to look better. But why? Am I trying to differentiate myself from the defacement all over the news? (It looks bad but I don’t!) We all know how well that’ll work.

🪞 🪞 🪞

Today’s post and Q&A are a bit different, in that a reader contributed a beautifully conceived question I could not myself answer, nor could I think of who else might be able to answer—except you clever, thoughtful, compassionate HNTFUYF-ers.

Have at it in the comments section, so our Dear Reader, Red, can make a decision she’s happy with.

Q: I am a 73-year-old lesbian with a storied mane of red hair—at least it was red in its heyday. Nowadays, it’s more… “red with a twist.” By “twist,” I mean a month’s worth of undeniable white roots. Here’s the burning question: Do I go white? Picture it—a full-on embrace of my snowy crown. Would it be chic? Or would I look like I’m auditioning to be Mrs. Claus in the off-season? Red hair has been my calling card. My signature. The Scarlett O’Hara of the Las Vegas high desert, if you will. But these roots are screaming, “Let us be free!” Do I release my inner Dame Helen Mirren—or do I stick with the red dye until I’m buried with it, L'Oréal tube clutched dramatically in hand? Let’s break this down…

After the paywall, Red gets specific about her predicament.

HNTFUYF is a payola-free, reader-supported zone. I get no cut from sales when I mention a product. My recommendations are offered without obligation, making HNTFUYF one of the very few places where you can get unadulterated beauty advice.

The beauty question in this post sits quivering with excitement behind a paywall. For full access to all posts and the archives, please become a paid subscriber at the current rate of $40/year. Can’t afford a subscription? Write to me at valeriemonroe@substack.com and I’ll give you a comp. 🙏