Polish Change

plus, the judging stops here

Welcome to new readers (and old)! Just a reminder that if you’re happy to be here, please tap the ❤️ above. Why? With every tap, a little bell rings in bloggers’ heaven and another 👼🏼 earns their wings.

I become irrationally happy when the weather turns warm and my hands and nails start looking unscathed and smooth again. It seems that the older I get, the more cracked and pained my fingers become in the cold. My son here in Japan turned me on to a terrifically effective hand cream you can get in the U.S., which I use on all kinds of dry and irritated spots. I use it in warm weather, too, though less frequently.

Anyway, my smooth hands and I discovered this nail-related reader question in the “Ask Val” archives…

“Ask Val” answers your urgent questions, Vol. 28

Q: The tips of my nails are weirdly yellow, though the nail beds are pink. I don’t smoke and am pretty healthy overall. What gives?

A: It sounds like the tips of your nails are stained. The nicotine in cigarettes can turn your nails yellow, but you say you’re not a smoker. (Smoking also causes wrinkles and an unlovely smoker's pallor, not to mention a host of other ugly health issues.) Instead, I assume you're dealing with the most common cause of yellowing: wearing nail polish. I’ve noticed this on my toenails after a summer of consistent polishing. To eliminate the stains, lightly buff your (unpolished) nails and soak them for five to 10 minutes in lemon juice or, if you're more ambitious, a slushy mixture of two parts peroxide and one part baking soda. Do the soak every other day until you see an improvement. Then, use a protective base coat under your polish to prevent restaining and give your nails some polish-free time every once in a while. But wait…are you a nonsmoker and a nonpolisher? Are you also over 60? Then the staining may be due to aging. For that (inevitable) condition, run a whitening pencil under the tips while humming “Stayin’ Alive.”

In rare instances, yellowing can be caused by an underlying medical condition. If your gut is telling you there’s more to be discovered, see a dermatologist.

My co-worker kindly pointed out that in my first draft of last week’s post, I sounded judgy about a certain sartorial choice; they were right. That made me think about how quickly I can jump to judgy conclusions—and how very much I don’t like that. Ideally, I favor the “you do you” style of social engagement. And now that I’m often hanging out with my granddaughter, M, I’m remembering there’s no better way to get comfortable with that than by spending time with a four year old. After saving up enough cash (mysteriously acquired), she was able to buy a small wind-up dog who yaps, wags his tail, and has an uncanny but unmistakeable ability to follow you around the room. M loves to name her toys (Monkey-Monkey, Pinky, Teddy, Schmooby the baby doll) but took a while to come up with a suitable name for her new puppy. I, wanting to be helpful, had a plethora of suggestions: Yappy, Waggy, Tag-Along, etc. Nothing hit the spot. Till last night when, after some cuddling and yapping and tail-wagging, M came up with what she considered to be the perfect name.

“I know! I know!” she cried, hugging the dog as his little legs and tail worked furiously against her tummy.

“Mr. Pup-Pup?” I said lamely. M eyed me suspiciously, as if I were trying to put one over on her.

“Tomato Water!” she said.

😶

In her informative and instructive new book, Mirror Meditation: The Power of Neuroscience and Self-Reflection to Overcome Self-Criticism, Gain Confidence, and See Yourself with Compassion, Tara Well, PhD, points out that we humans are inherently programmed to scan for the problematic and the threatening as a way to ensure safety. This reminded me that, while scrutinizing our face for flaws is partly a result of unhealthy conditioning that encourages us to self-objectify, it can also be one of the ways we scan for signs of illness. Just mentioning that here as a reminder that there is always more than one side to a story, especially when it involves creatures as complex as we are. No judging.

Book Club News, ICYMI

Though I’ve been a latecomer to audiobooks, once I discovered them I couldn’t get enough. I borrow them from the public library, but as I’ve mentioned before, sometimes the library snatches them back before I can finish. So I'm happy to share I'm partnering with Chirp to launch an audiobook club of biographies and memoirs called “Unfiltered Women.” It’s free to subscribe and Chirp offers great deals. Plus, you obviously get to keep the book to listen to at your leisure.

Full transparency: At this point, I’m choosing not to receive payback for sign-ups, but I do hope to get the benefit of introducing HNTFUYF to Chirp subscribers.

Here’s how it works. Every other month I’ll announce a new book club pick that we’ll listen to together. You’ll have a chance to share your thoughts on the book a few weeks later and hear what other readers thought, too. My first pick is the memoir Blood, Bones & Butter: The Inadvertent Education of a Reluctant Chef by Gabrielle Hamilton. I often encourage you to quit objectifying yourself and to instead turn your attention outward, where there’s so much to be appreciated. Hamilton is not only a master of extreme attentiveness, but also a gifted chronicler of what she sees—and she sees...everything. It’s enormous fun to follow her path from spunky kid and lover-of-backyard-barbeques to the founder of what was one of the most beloved restaurants in the world. Delicious reading.

To get started, go to chirpbooks.com/val and press FOLLOW to join my club. (Again, it’s free and there is NO commitment.)

Val Asks You

Don’t be shy! What’s your most vexing or intractable appearance issue? Send your beauty-related questions to valeriemonroe@substack.com. If I don’t have a good answer, I’ll find someone who does.

HNTFUYF, a Payola-Free Zone

Readers, a few of you have wondered aloud to me if I get a cut from sales when I mention a product. I do not. I only mention products I’d like to buy myself, and therefore think you might like, too. I share this so you know my recommendations are offered without obligation. The only financial contributions I receive from these posts are from those of you—thank you!—who have generously subscribed. All posts and the archive are free; there’s no paywall.