Welcome to a special edition of HNTFUYF—special, because it’s our second guest post ever.
I’ve said this before: I’ve been reluctant to hand over HNTFUYF to anyone else because I love hanging out with you every week. But a while ago in Roxane Gay’s Substack, The Audacity, there appeared a captivating guest-host who seemed exactly right for HNTFUYF, too. Evidently she is, because your last response to her HNTFUYF takeover? Overwhelming delight.
Aubrey Hirsch is honest, wise, compassionate, and fun. She’s a writer and illustrator; you can read more of her terrific work here. And you should! But for now, savor the lagniappe she made exclusively for us.
Oops! And don’t forget to hit the ❤️ to give a warm welcome to guests the world over. I’m sending you XXXs from Japan.
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A Moment of Personal Horn-Blowing
HNTFUYF was recently included in a roundup of the “23 Best Health and Wellness Newsletters of 2023” by the (what else?) health and wellness website Ness. Thanks, Ness, and thanks to all you HNTFUYF-ers for inspiring me with your thoughtful questions and comments. xo
HNTFUYF, a Payola-Free Zone
Readers, a few of you have asked if I get a cut from sales when I mention a product. I do not; I have turned away affiliate offers. I only mention products I’d like to buy myself, and therefore think you might like, too. I share this so you know my recommendations are offered without obligation.
Val Asks You
Don’t be shy! What’s your most vexing or intractable appearance issue? Send your beauty-related questions to valeriemonroe@substack.com. If I don’t have a good answer, I’ll find someone who does.
As a (former) blonde, I'd been convinced that letting my grey grow in would make me look completely washed out. And my long-time hair dresser (who just may have had a financial incentive) told me not to do it, and that I'd totally have to change my look, and start wearing bold colors to make up for my new, wan look. I did it anyway (and got a new hairdresser) and I love it. Obviously it's great to be done with the dyes and expense. But it turns out my hair isn't so much grey as it is silver, and the color is such a better fit for my complexion than the dyed blonde was. I can still wear pastels and they look just fine. Let's start a movement to refer to "going silver" instead of "going grey." PS - I just realized that I have to update my Substack photo!
Love this, and I commented the last gray post you shared. I have had every color hair of the rainbow over the decades, since I was 16. I stopped coloring my hair at 50, and it was the best decision I made. I am now 53. My husband encouraged me, saying, "you will look insanely sexy." Guess, what, he was right, ya'll! I get stopped on the street every. single. day. A barber ran out of his shop on Satruday and said "OMG, girl, you are fabulous with that hair!" I have long salt and pepper hair, with very white temples now, and I feel like a perimenopause sex goddess! GO FOR IT, you may be surprised!