Jowls 2.0

plus, what makes me blush

Welcome readers, old and new!

Please hit that little ❤️ above to remind fellow HNTFUYF-ers that there are myriad ways we can alter our appearance, some scarier than others.

As I started writing a second post about jowls, it occurred to me there’s another good reason to pronounce it like “bowls.” (I’ll never tire of this, Dear Readers; I appreciate your indulgence.) Jowls, as I said, sounds like “howls” 😱—but saying it the other way resonates with (I’m in a Kit Kat Club state of mind) Bowles, as in Sally Bowles. What’s in a name? Sally Bowels. You get my point.

😊 😊 😊

Now, a confession. Last week, I spent $60 on a blush.

Even while buying it, I thought, WTF. People send me blush. Nice people. Nice blush. But I’ve used this blush for 15 years and when I realized I was at the bottom of the pot (yes, it lasted 15 years; I don’t wear a lot of makeup), I thought, Maybe I should buy a new one.

I didn’t buy the original blush—it was gifted to me, as were almost all products when I was a beauty editor—so I priced it out online. When I saw that a small pot cost more than a yearly subscription to HNTFUYF, I skipped over to Target and paid $18 for a fine blush I often recommend. (Creamy, nice shades, natural finish.) But walking by a department store a few days later, I thought I’d see if they carried my O.G. They did. I tried on a couple of shades; it still made my heart sing. It’s got a different name, but it’s the same stuff—velvety texture; delicate pigment with a barely detectable sheen; makes me look like I sprinted for the bus through a snow shower. So, here you go. Maybe you’d like to pop for a subscription, too?

The beauty Q&A in this post is available only to paid subscribers. For full access to all posts and to the extensive archives—please become a paid subscriber at the current rate of $40/year. If you can’t afford a subscription, email me at valeriemonroe@substack.com and I’ll comp you one, no questions asked. 🙏🏻