How to F*ck Up Your Face

surprise! it's opposite day!

The doctor hesitated just before leaving me in the hands of a physician assistant in the treatment room. “You can call your next post, ‘How to F*ck Up Your Face!’” she said gleefully as she slipped out the door.

“Ha,” I said to her back.

In fact, I f*cked up my face a long time ago the way many of you may have: presenting it to the sun like a sacrificial …