For Crying Out Loud

plus, the beauty of packing (light)

Welcome readers, old and new!

Please hit that ❤️ above to see how “give me a hand” may soon mean something very different.

A personal question: Have you been crying enough?

I imagine some evolved and compassionate HNTFUYF-ers will answer, Too much! Crying too much! That I would understand. But after a long catch-up with one of my dearest friends, I wondered whether she and I had been crying enough.

Neither of us are great criers, tending toward more contained behavior appropriately called “sucking it up.” But when I had no recourse a couple of years ago but to submit to a serious surgery here in Tokyo—while not speaking the language, unable to communicate with doctors (except through a bilingual angel provided by the hospital), and alone (visitors prohibited because of Covid)—my refusal to cry became an obstacle to recovery. Post-surgery, I felt the need, but it took me time to figure out how to access it.

Finally, I found a movie to stream I knew would help free my grief and fear. (Lion; heartbreaking.) A few minutes in, the flood began; I cried wrenching, drenching sobs for a long time. And when I was finished, I was clean. I felt calmer, healthier, stronger.

You may already know crying can be good for you. But do you know why? Research shows there may be physiological effects: a stabler respiration rate, regulation of autonomic nervous system activity, even improvement in immune system functioning.

Though the academic research isn’t conclusive, mine is.

Deep crying has helped me access compassion—for myself, for the people I desperately love, for those I don’t, for the world—and a recognition of the suffering becoming more evident every day. The big ugly cry? The grim weeper? I don’t think so. There’s wisdom in tears. Here’s to finding yours and the subsequent strength that follows.

🥹 🥹 🥹

Next week, helpful suggestions about an annoying skin condition not worth crying over. But this week, I’m giving us a break. In fact, a reader who’s thinking about taking a break—a trip to Scandinavia—asked for packing advice. I never take more than a carry-on for any trip, and have never missed anything I haven’t brought with me. After the paywall, a few secrets to keeping your burden (pretty) light.

HNTFUYF is a payola-free, reader-supported zone. I get no cut from sales when I mention a product. My recommendations are offered without obligation, making HNTFUYF one of the very few places where you can get unadulterated beauty advice.

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