Wading into the old “Ask Val” archives for today’s post, I was flooded with affection for a well-known Someone I once worked with who consistently saw the world through rose-colored glasses. Without further ado:
“Ask Val” answers your urgent questions, Vol. 24
Yes, you, in that gorgeous Hervé Léger bandage dress?
Q: How do firming body lotions work?
A: The aforementioned beloved former colleague claimed she was sure she got a tighter bottom when she applied firming body lotion. One of the reasons I'm fond of her is that, among her many other lovely qualities, she’s a terrific optimist. If you think your bottom looks better and that makes you happy (and why wouldn't it?), I say more power to you.
But in the sometimes dark and often skeptical world of “Ask Val,” firming lotions are good for one thing only: moisturizing. Because moisturizing has a plumping effect, it improves the skin’s appearance temporarily. And by “improves,” I mean if you were to position your face so close to another person’s moisturized bottom that both of you were extremely uncomfortable, you might notice a slight difference in skin quality. The antioxidants added to some formulas may help reduce collagen breakdown but won’t appreciably stimulate new collagen and skin thickening, which is what you would need for a more permanent visible change in texture.
So: There’s no evidence that the ingredients in firming lotions produce long-term effects. Save your hard-earned lucre.
I want to offer a little good news along with the less-good news since I know you all like product recommendations, with which I tend to be fairly stingy. (So much of what you can buy is ineffective.) But here’s some fun with an undereye “miracle” cream from Peter Thomas Roth. In case you haven’t yet seen the viral TikTok video about how it works, this is it. I haven’t tried this product, though I did try a prototype for a similar one years ago and was fairly pleased with the results.
Though the effect looks miraculous, it’s not a miracle; the FIRMx formula contains clay-like ingredients called silicates that tighten the skin like a clay mask does. Which means that when you wash off the product, you also wash off the effect. Peter Thomas Roth sells a similar product for the whole face because…of course. It has mixed reviews, though, mostly due to some difficulty with applying it and issues with chalky residue. Also available is a range of products in the FIRMx collection, which essentially look like pricey moisturizers banking on a clever name (and your hopefulness).
Which brings me back to the rose-colored glasses. (By the way, I like these and these.)
I’ve written about the positive aspects of denial and the benefits of gathering ye confidence where ye may, whether it’s by learning to see your face with loving awareness, or by tinkering with a doctor’s bag of tricks, or both.
Slipping on a pair of rose-colored glasses—choosing to see the best possible outcome—can help increase your resilience, your success in relationships, and even make you more disposed toward better health. Research shows that optimistic people tend to live longer.
But I’d keep those glasses in my pocket when perusing the beauty aisle. There, you’re far better off with a prescription that sharpens your perspective.
Val Asks You
Don’t be shy! What’s your most vexing or intractable appearance issue? Send your beauty-related questions to valeriemonroe@substack.com. If I don’t have a good answer, I’ll find someone who does.
HNTFUYF, A Payola-Free Zone
Readers, a few of you have wondered aloud to me if I get a cut from sales when I mention a product. I do not. I only mention products I’d like to buy myself, and therefore think you might like, too. I share this so you know my recommendations are offered without obligation. The only financial contributions I receive from these posts are from those of you—thank you!—who have generously subscribed. All posts and the archive are free; there’s no paywall.
If you like what you’ve been reading, you can always let me know—and I would love to know—by hitting that little heart button and then sharing the post. I heart you, too. xo
Asking Val: if I invested in these creams, the last area I would think to firm is my rump. What is the matter with me?
Another excellent post, Val!
I have to say I applaud the folks at Peter Thomas Roth for putting the word “Temporary” in the name of their eye tightener. The results of any beauty product (if any visible results are to be had at all) are temporary at best. As are the results of brushing our teeth and washing our hair. Again, thanks to PTR—and you!—for keeping it real. xo