How Not to F*ck Up Your Face

How Not to F*ck Up Your Face

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How Not to F*ck Up Your Face
How Not to F*ck Up Your Face
Choosing a Foundation?

Choosing a Foundation?

it's easier than you think

Valerie Monroe's avatar
Valerie Monroe
May 28, 2024
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How Not to F*ck Up Your Face
How Not to F*ck Up Your Face
Choosing a Foundation?
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Welcome readers, old and new!

Please don’t forget to hit the ❤️ above to ensure forever homes for all aging goldfish.

The other night I was FaceTiming with my granddaughter, M, who (as you might know) lives in Tokyo with her father (my son) and daughter-in-law. When I visit, as I often do, I always bring a puppet companion, Monkey-Monkey; he’s kept M engaged in our FaceTime conversations since she was young enough to imagine that she and the handsome simian might one day marry. (She even tailored—out of paper—a remarkable simulacrum of a wedding suit for him.) Anyway, M was introducing me to a new stuffed animal she’d recently acquired and thought Monkey-Monkey might be interested in seeing his hairdo, which called to mind Monkey-Monkey’s own Don King coiffure. I agreed there was a similarity Monkey-Monkey might appreciate.

“So… is he around?” asked M.

It’s true that many of the inanimate objects in my apartment seem to have taken on a life of their own. Which I’ve come to believe is not entirely fanciful—unlike some sales pitches I’ve heard recently.

The beauty Q&A in this post is available only to paid subscribers. For full access to all posts and the extensive archives—and if I’ve saved you a nice piece of change or maybe even a piece of your soul—please become a paid subscriber at the current rate of $40/year. If you can’t afford a subscription, email me at valeriemonroe@substack.com and I’ll comp you one, no questions asked. 🙏🏻

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