Bargains Galore

plus, minimizing the mustache

Welcome readers, old and new!

Please hit the ❤️ above to help your old friend here at HNTFUYF regain some sense of equanimity.

Last week, to celebrate five years of HNTFUYF, I had the brilliant idea to give readers a gift: A five day, 50% off sale on subscriptions. Because I also wanted to thank paid subscribers for their invaluable contributions, I decided to comp them a six-month extension on their subscriptions.

Done! Happy birthday to HNTFUYF! Gifts for readers! I adore you all and hope you know one of my goals here is that you be happy.

Then I saw the hit extending paid subscriptions had on current revenue: Reduced by around half. Plus, a glitch added an even longer extension. How this happened, only the gods of techie word salad know. Anyway, I was shook. Now, I’ve asked the IT team at Substack if they can reverse the comps. I’ll try to figure out a way to reward paying subscribers without a self-inflicted wound. But the IT team isn’t sure it can be done.

Which is why I’m asking free subscribers reading this post to consider becoming paid subscribers at the extended 50% off sale, good for five more days till midnight ET on June 7. Paid subscribers, when you come up for renewal, please do renew!

Another sale like this won’t come around again (duh), so if you enjoy hanging out in our yard, it’d be wise to sign up now by hitting that “Upgrade to Paid” button below.

Tell me it isn’t true that no good deed goes unpunished. xo

HNTFUYF is a payola-free, reader-supported zone. I get no cut from sales when I mention any kind of product. My recommendations are offered without obligation, making HNTFUYF one of the very few places where you can get unadulterated advice, beauty and otherwise.

Q: You mentioned a Japanese facial razor in your travel kit. Is there one in particular you recommend? And is it available in the U.S.? Also, though it may seem obvious, can you share how to use it?

A: Right, the hair situation: The thinning where you want it and the growth where you don’t.

At the moment, for me, most annoying is trying to remember to check my upper lip every couple of days; when I forget and find I’ve sprouted a couple of weeds, I grab my little Japanese razor and whack them off. I buy mine in Tokyo, but you can find them online here and here. For a more thorough investigation into hair removal, jump into the previously published post that follows.

🧔🏽‍♀️ 🧔🏽‍♀️ 🧔🏽‍♀️

You may already know that the ratio of estrogen to testosterone changes as we age. Diminished estrogen levels mean more unopposed testosterone, so we grow more hair where men do, namely on our faces. It happens. So, though there are many reasons to be alarmed these days, seeing more strays on your face isn’t one of them. By the way, if facial fur doesn’t bother you, do like The Beatles do and let it be, let it be.

But if every once in a while, or even regularly, you’re unhappy to find a few dark (or white) hairs on your upper lip or chin, it’s fine to whack them off with a blade. (Don’t tweeze them; that’s more likely to irritate your skin.)

One morning at an O, The Oprah Magazine editorial meeting, one of my magnificent colleagues happened to mention that many women where she grew up in the South regularly shaved their faces. I wish you could’ve seen the reaction of the other 12 or 15 of us. I, for one, suddenly saw this Southern belle very differently.

Did Scarlett have a few more close shaves than we know?

Since then, I’ve met many women who’ve shaved their faces (often in the shower, often in secret) all their adult lives. If you’re one of them, and you’re happy with the results, bless you.

Shaving your face in secret, though, makes me think of shame—and about why having hair on your face might make you feel ashamed. I want to refer you to an earlier post and to encourage you to contribute to a conversation in the comments about what you think about this.

I’ll start: Anything that doesn’t conform to mainstream ideas about femininity can make us feel like deviants. The beguilingly hirsute naturalist Charles Darwin might say hair growing where it wouldn’t typically grow on a female—no matter how old she is—sends a mild shock through our hard wiring because it indicates something “off” about fertility (and advancement of the species). Interesting idea, Chaz.

Once in a while, marketing geniuses, unawares, save the day. Not too long ago they replaced “shaving” with “dermaplaning,” the result of which was that the act of removing hair from your face became an acceptable—even coveted—beauty treatment. There’s no downside (or should I say, downyside) to shaving or dermaplaning says New York City dermatologist Doris J Day, MD; the hair on your face feels soft because it’s been there forever. Shave it and it might feel a bit coarser but not appreciably.

Laser hair removal works only for some of us. It’s not effective on white, blonde, red, or light hair (that’s a rabbit hole for another time), and you’ll need up to 6-8 treatments along with occasional maintenance appointments. See a bona fide MD, because you must have an evaluation before any session with a laser. And if you’re olive- or dark-skinned, be extremely careful. The wrong type of laser can cause post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation (a dark stain) or a burn. But the 1064 NdYag laser works well to remove dark hair on dark skin says Brooke Jackson, MD, a Durham, NC, dermatologist. It takes 3-5 treatments and then maintenance treatments every few months.

Electrolysis—a procedure in which the follicle is destroyed by heat through an electrical current—is a good solution for stray hairs, but it’s not great for large areas, because… ouchie!

Dara Levy, founder of a hair removal and exfoliation device, says she developed the Dermaflash because it’s designed to remove vellus hair—the fuzz women have on their faces—rather than coarse terminal hair, which is what men have. She is an extremely persuasive proponent of the device and I noticed on Dermaflash’s Instagram that there seem to be many women of all ethnicities happy with their results. I personally can’t vouch for it, but if you’re uncomfortable with your facial fuzz, it might be worth a look.

Another beloved dermatologist once told me that if you can’t see the hair on your face from an arm’s length away, don’t bother with it. I used to agree, but not anymore. Why? Because the things I now can’t see from an arm’s length away are vast and legion. Who knows? I could be obliviously sporting a van dyke. For me, a bi-weekly check-in with a magnifying mirror and my dainty razor does the trick.

Val Asks You

Questions, questions, Val loves them! (Also, exclamation points.) What’s your most intractable appearance issue? Send your beauty-related questions to valeriemonroe@substack.com. If I don’t have a good answer, I’ll find someone who does.